Fel Pelton-Dior

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Fel-Pelton-Dior

Fel is a known pelskwie - quite rare these days (meaning that she represents (almost) everything Erbourne's dreamgirl is not, and vice-versa). Her favourite foods are overcooked hard-boiled eggs with green germs on the yolks, stinky tofu, anything expired and whatever that's soaked into a liquid of an opposite flavour (like hard-boiled eggs and year-old potstickers in milk).

Early Life
Fel Pelton-Dior can be recognized as the archetypal spoiled-daughter.

In the early 1940s, J&B was already a world-class SimCity club, and at the time it was already so lucrative that even a financial manager had an exquisite income. Craigio was one of them.

Fel was one of the nine children of Craigio, all of them severely non-Erbourian-appealing. At a young age, Fel liked to pig out and enjoy large amounts of fame. She also detested any physical activities of all sorts, and enjoyed a large appetite. However, she took an extreme ardor in wrestling, which aggrandized her weight!

Fel did extremely bad at academics, and only graduated high school. But because of relationships, she was able to land a job as a financial secretary.

Sometime in the 1960s, Fel temporarily married an obscure male and procreated three children. Well, not really, just dipped her groin into sperm.

Interaction with Erbourne
After a robbery in 1969, several beat cops, including Erbourne, were obliged to investigate the matter. There, Erbourne accidently bumped into Craigio, causing the older man to fall into a bucket of pinecones. Pinecones were scattered in all directions, almost giving Erbourne a heart attack.

For some reason, Craigio decided that it was about time for Fel to marry Erbourne, although Craigio hated Erbourne. The exact process remains obscure.

The Wedding
The wedding was held on 6 February 1973 in Dick's Dirt-Cheap Chapel. About half of the entire Pelton-Dior family trooped in, while nobody in Erbourne's family came.

It was cheap indeed:


 * Only one room, which was about 800 square feet (and a unisex washroom with one working toilet), was rented, not the whole Chapel. At the time, much of the other parts of the Chapel was booked for a funeral.
 * The wedding was booked in the 8am - 10am timeframe; the funeral was booked in the 7am-10am timeframe.
 * The wedding cake was replaced by a week-old birthday cake that read "Happy Birthday Dickey" (painted on the moldy cake with schitt-coloured ketchup).
 * The refreshments section was nothing more than a creaking log served as a table. On it was nothing more than a small tray of Kirko's Extra-Cheap Stinky Tofu and a bucket of expired overcooked hard-boiled eggs (the yolks were green with germs and everything). The air reeked of schitt and phartz.
 * The podium was made of scattered wood planks found the day before in a nearby warehouse.
 * There were only enough folding chairs for five guests; the rest had to stand or kneel.
 * The bachelor's party was basically Erbourne crying and sobbing for hours in a diner the day before the wedding. The bachlortte's party was basically Fel and some of her retarded friends and family pigging out on some expired candy.
 * The honeymoon was a twenty-minute road trip across the neighbourhood with the Pelton-Diors' cranky car, where Fel and Craigio and some of the retarded children sang deafeningly loudly and, obviously, off-key. Even more unfortunately for Erbourne, one of the songs played on the radio was none other than a knockoff '70s version of 6fd2kkLmSDQ. Thankfully, since everyone thought Erbourne was homo, they didn't bother him much.
 * The entirely cost of the wedding wasn't even enough to cover three train tickets, mainly because it was Craigio who promised to pay for the wedding, and he didn't want to spend any money on someone he hated.

1973
Fel, her brother, her sister and her parents moved into Erbourne's 1025-square-foot townhouse immediately after the wedding was over. The only purpose of the timing was so that Erbourne couldn't run away. Since Fel had tricked Erbourne into signing an oath during the exchange of vows, Erbourne was forced to abide with this for exactly ten years from the exact moment of the time the wedding started; otherwise, he would be incarcerated.

Erbourne only had two bedrooms at the time, so he had to sleep on the couch while Fel and her siblings occupied a bedroom and her parents occupying the other. Even so, Fel and her good-for-nothing family were considerably mad at Erbourne, constantly buffeting and shoving him and showering him with affronts for about a month, just because there wasn't "enough room for the whole family". Erbourne had to work overtime every day for the entire season in order to purchase gifts and offerings to appease and slowly alleviate their pointless ire.

From around then, Fel started working only part-time, and most of her siblings and parents stopped working altogether, just to mooch of Erbourne's salary. Fel enjoyed all-day shopping with her sister and two of her retarded besties, "putting it on the tab", namely Erbourne's debit card. The cretinous parents enjoyed a spa membership and long walks in a Sunset Mall.

Somewhere on an afternoon in that April, Fel was found to be five-months pregnant; the news was delivered by snail mail, and the entire "household" - except Erbourne - got the news simultaneously. When Erbourne came home, Felsolo, Fel's brother, violently buffeted him in the face, causing him to drop to the ground. "You little turd, what tf did you do to my Fel?!" screamed Felsolo, and he was going to buffet some more when Fel stopped him, and told him that the guy responsible for the pregnancy wasn't Erbourne, but her ex-husband, and added that Erbourne was homo. "Ah... of course. Retard," sneered Felsolo. The two went away without even a hint of apology.

In end-July, Fel gave birth to twins Hugh and Olegio, thinking that they were "the best-est names ever".

1973-1983
The next decade was quite constant. Erbourne would sleep on the couch; Fel and her pelskwie sibblings hogged a bedroom; and their retarded parents took the other. Every weekday, Erbourne would quietly get up and stuff without the Pelton-Diors' attention and get out for work by 6am.

The Pelton-Diors get up somewhat later and live a usual life - without working. They have fun for the entire day. Usually Erbourne would return home sometime around 7pm, just after supper so there wouldn't be any arguments. However, in the later years the gang started to allow Erbourne to eat with them.

Somewhere in the meantime, Erbourne got fired from his job and took the job as principal in Endville Junior High.

1983
Although it was them who made the contract ten years long (as far as they were concerned at the time, ten years was "longer than an eternity and a half"), they became unduly mad with Erbourne. They couldn't pay stuff with his money anymore. For some reason, the same week, the house got bulldozed due to a few paperwork errors.

The Pelton-Diors believed that Erbourne was responsible for all this. They were also used to Erbourne taking care for them, took that for granted. They conveniently forgot about the ten-year timer after the bulldozing.

For the first time in forever, Erbourne stood up for himself. When the Pelton-Diors demanded Erbourne to come with them to another country to work as a slave for them (slavery was allowed there), Erbourne refused. The Pelton-Diors claimed that it was Erbourne's duty, "the least you [Erbourne] could do after ruining our lives!" Although they told lies and exaggerated, and even went to court with Erbourne, they didn't have the upper hand. Obviously.

Both parties emerged empty-handed.

"I spit on you!" Fel cursed at Erbourne, as they were leaving the court.

"Why?" asked Erbourne. "What did I do? I took care of y'all for ten years! That was the deal! See?" He showed them a copy of the signatures. "And now the time's up! I didn't do anything!"

"I don't have time for such ridiculous arguments," Fel waved her hand like a fan, as if she was really wronged here.

"How is that ridiculous?!"

"You're nothing but a piece of jerk," blurted Fel.

"I'm not a jerk! If you're so obstinate, prove it!"

"No need to prove. I am a leader in my dictatorship."

After 1983
Not much is known after that. Fel and most of her family quit their jobs and fled to another country somewhere. Hugh and Olegio stayed, though.

But in x2K19x Part I, Sih mentioned about meeting Fel. So maybe Fel came back. Who knows.

2000~
Fel came back to Greater Endville Area sometime around when Sih was born. Nobody recognized Fel anymore.